If everywhere you go you have a problem with other people. Guess what: You are the problem. It’s called brokenness. God sends (or has sent) you people to love you, speak truth to you, fellowship with you, and help lead you towards wholeness. You’ve pushed them away. You’ve offended them. You’ve convinced yourself that you are right and they are wrong. You’ve believed the lie that you are unloved by them, by God. Anything but admitting that you might be flawed, that you might be broken.
The prideful selfish heart of man may be our greatest downfall. We all fight it. None are exempt (especially me!). It was a primary side effect of the Fall of Man way back in the beginning. The difference is that some revolt against it, want no part of it, and beg God to replace their prideful selfish hearts with loving hearts concerned more with others than themselves. It is only then that we have the capacity to become whole people, no longer leaving others hurt in our prideful wake.
Nothing breaks my heart more so than when I observe the effect of this type of hurt. Especially within the Church. No one wins. One person sinks deeper into depravity. Another person gets their heart and spirit wrecked by brokenness. The Church becomes less healthy, and thus less appealing to those who need her most. There has to be a better way…
Welcome to my blog, thanks for stopping by. You'll find all kinds of interesting stuff here... I hope you'll stick around for a while and jump into the conversation by leaving a comment.
You are right, Luke. Pride and Fear are our biggest enemies when it comes to dealing with our brokenness. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve avoided dealing with an issue I’ve carried around with me over the years because of my fear of how much it will actually hurt to face the pain/issue head-on. Every time I find that it actually hurt more to wrestle with God, my convictions, or issue than it did to just deal with it and hand it over to God. I have literally physically exhausted myself fighting against letting God help me deal with my issues. So silly!
Then, when I finally let go and let God, I am at peace, and I finally get to experience the joy God intended me to experience as I abide in Him and let Him be Lord of my life!
With that being said, I think the most impactful way to respond as the church is to continue to love and pray for those hurting people. Forgive them, and wait for God to break through those walls they’ve built up. It’s hard to do sometimes, but it does happen!
Hey Luke. You make some very valid points. I have learned in years with dealing with the “hurt people hurt people” syndrome within our family that sometimes the only thing (and the best thing) we can do is pray for those people. Sure, all of us needs to admit flaws, faults, failures, that is part of being a healthy mature person, but some of us are better able to deal with them than others. We all have choices to make and if we are willing to realize that we all have a responsibility in our relationships and take responsibility for those relationships somehow the amount of hurt can either be reduced or completely eliminated. “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me”. If you have confronted the hurt person or if you are the hurting person and things don’t change then we need to make a choice to move forward, live the life that God intended us to have and leave the rest up to Him. He is able!
This is the first time I have checked out your blog but will be back. Take care. Hope all is well with you and Janessa.
Melissa and Cheri,
I appreciate you reading and commenting. Love what both of you guys said… great thoughts. You both hit the nail on the head about prayer. Sometimes (most of the time!) prayer is the best solution… pray for people, love people!
Cheri, I think you are exactly right that ultimately it boils down to personal responsibility. That’s what I’m talking about. This idea that “everyone else is the root of my problems” is so off based… it creates an endless cycle of hurt and pain.
I once read the true manifest of a guy who had an affair, and left his wife and kids for another woman. In his writing, he blamed everyone except himself. He blamed: his church, his pastor, his ex-wife, his friends… pretty much every single person except himself. It was horrifying and sad to see how someone could absolve themselves from blame in such a situation.
We must take responsibility in our own relationships. It is our job to love the other person.
-Luke-
Hey Luke, I agree with your comments. There is a great article we read during our Men’s today speaking on this very thing. No one is immune from the possibility. The article is by Larry Crabb, definitely worth a read. Here is the link:
http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache%3An-PcKBR-wn4J%3Apeople.cedarville.edu%2Femployee%2Fmillerc%2Fotsurvey%2Fpaper%2Fcrabb.pdf+on+the+occasion+of+a+friend%27s+retreat+into+sin+larry+crabb&hl=en&gl=us&sig=AHIEtbRByiak6oWZaFWvl-SMrkhmGz9bpg&pli=1
Mikey,
That article was outstanding. Spoke to me in a big way. Still processing some of the content. I’ve saved it, and have already shared it with some other friends and ministry leaders. Thanks bro!
Luke